Aaaand the gates open and we’re off!
(Read the full episode below, or click here for the list of other episodes)
------------------
(The following is a re-upload of my original tumblr post. I’ve altered it in the following ways: fixed typos/grammar/punctuation, made image edits easier to read, clarified confusing sentences, streamlined extraneous content, and added stickers to nude scenes to comply with Blogspot policies. The rest of the original madness is preserved as-is.)
------------------
I know almost nothing about this show. But, judging by the cover art…
…I can tell this is going to be one upbeat, colorful, cheerful anime!
Or, you know, not.
Whoa, 5 seconds in and we already have onscreen yuri! *badum-ttsssshh*
Uh.. ye-- yep…. just a happy, colorful show…
For fuck’s sake. We are literally 15 seconds into this anime, and already:
At least Madoka Magica gave you three episodes of happiness before the gates of hell opened and Azmodan himself unleashed wretched rotting demons to munch on your suffering. Symphogear comes thundering out the gates like Death on his pale horse with all Hades trailing behind him in the form of cute schoolgirls.
I should talk about what’s actually happening at some point. Unknown Girl visits the grave of her yuri friend, and we get some establishing scenery shots of a ruined city, showing the audience that this story takes place After The End. What sort of apocalypse actually came to pass is not revealed yet. (Shit, was it really Azmodan? I bet it was Azmodan.)
Unknown Girl breaks down in front of the grave, with a picture of a blonde girl about her age named Hibiki. We’re told that these two were close, and the blonde girl died a tragic death, aaaand that’s all. This is supposed to be heartfelt and tear-inducing, but at this point the audience has no idea who these people are or what is going on, so it just files into that “this will be much more painful on rewatch once you actually know these characters lolol :))))” folder, much like the first episode of PMMM. You know, before Azmodan did the thing.
The episode proper starts with a “Two Years Earlier” placard. Presumably, either the rest of the episode or the rest of the season will bookend with the opening scene, and we’ll find out who Unknown Girl and Hibiki actually are, how the latter died, and why it was tragic.
Hell must’ve broken out only recently, because in this two-year flashback the city is clean and happy and unruined. So, apparently Hibiki’s death tied in with the apocalypse somehow. We see the living Hibiki waiting in line for a concert.
Oh for fuck’s sake.
This is our protagonist?
THIS GIRL
THIS
THIS TINY LITTLE CUPCAKE POUTY-MOUTHED ADORABLE HAMSTER SWEET-FACED GARDEN GNOME IS OUR FREKING PROTAGONIST?
WE ARE SO FUCKED YOU GUYS
THIS IS GONNA BE SO PAINFUL
YOU CAN’T FOOL ME ANYMORE. THE SWEET INNOCENCE OF THE MAIN CHARACTER IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE PAIN SHE WILL ENDURE
SHE IS GOING TO SUFFER SO MUCH. THIS IS GOING TO BE MADOKA ALL OVER AGAIN. THE LITTLE SISTER FROM GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES IS WEEPING WITH GRIEF FOR THIS LITTLE KAWAIIKO
I am going to flash back to the above image any time something terrible happens to this sweet girl. We already know she dies per the opening scene, but oh no, simply dying is not suffering enough. Mark my words people, there will be blood. …Oh yes, there will be blood.
You have no idea, fluffy cheeks.
Anyway, Hamster and the Unknown Girl, revealed to be named Miku, were supposed to go to this concert together. Miku couldn’t make it (maybe she had to go be on Letterman), so Hamster has to go it alone.
We’re introduced to the two idols about to perform at the concert. Kanade (red) and Tsubasa (blue).
They are wearing jumbo-sized altar boy outfits, for some reason. I guess they… like… don’t want to damage their costumes?? But really now.
Right off the bat, Kanade is established as the loud, physical, affectionate, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun type. Whereas Tsubasa is quieter, more serious, but also less emotionally stable. Harder than the others, but also more brittle. I predict much suffering ahead for Tsubasa, as well. Still, she has cute expressions.
*Azmodan laughing in the background*
The hell. Why does he look like Snoop Lion fucked an Oni?
That loud clanging noise you’re hearing right now is the This Statement Will Be Morbidly And Hilariously Ironic By The End Of The Episode alert.
Some mysterious sciencey shit is happening in the background. More importantly, GAY IS HAPPENING.
We are three and a half minutes in, and we have a hug-from-behind upon a blushing girl. I knew I was gonna like this show. One or both of them better not die.
One of them’s going to die, aren’t they? This is why we can’t have nice things.
So, the concert happens, Kyousaya KanaTsu perform while Hamster Hibiki watches happily amidst a huge crowd, and we get a decent song and some impressive visuals.
Back to the Mysterious Sciencey Stuff, we are introduced to the concept of “Phonics”, which apparently no one will be getting Hooked On just yet. Snoop Oni and the scientists seem to be, like, harvesting energy from the concert? Presumably from the energy of the excited crowd or something?
Of course, Shit Goes Wrong. The girls’ singing is just too awesome for the science lab to handle, and threatens to overload some Relic with its musical Phonic power.
Well, shit.
Suddenly, A WILD MONSTER SWARM ATTACKS and starts EATING PEOPLE
holy SHIT THIS JUST GOT REAL
ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I WAS JOKING EARLIER ABOUT THE DEMONIC HORDES OF AZMODAN, I DIDN’T THINK THE ANIME WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, WHAT HAVE I DONE
Not to fear, however! Our idol duo are in fact mecha-magical girls!
We get a nifty transformation sequence, activated by singing of course, that looks like a hella rad late-80’s synth rock album cover.
I guarantee you the above image is spray-painted on the side of a rusty, beercan-littered van with a broken sunroof and a hula dancer bobble on the dashboard down in Lower Alabama. I also guarantee you that the owner of that van is far radder than you or I will ever be.
Wait, the monsters are called the Noise? Wow. Prepare yourself for innumerable “fuck that noise” jokes in the near future.
Also, a theme is emerging. Idol characters, monsters called the Noise, powers activated by singing… It’s apparent that music will be an important part of this anime.
I notice everyone in the concert crowd already knew what the Noise were. So… if your city knows horrific monsters can pop out of nowhere and wreak terrifying violence at any time… Why was there no security? No visible military or fortifications in the earlier scenery-shots of the city? Not even any air support or an evacuation drill? ?? And, if you’re subject to monster attacks like this, why is the city so bright and happy and clean? Something is weird here, but too much is happening to process it right now. I expect the anime will explain more about the Noise after the chaos of the first episode dies down.
Kanade and Tsubasa, in their powered-up outfits and weapons, leap into battle, slaughtering monsters left and right. We also get on-screen panels that flash across with the names of their special attacks. This is gonna be awesome.
She… she’s singing while she fights the monsters? I mean, girl doesn’t even miss a beat. Does she need to keep singing to channel her powers? Or is she just continuing the concert as a “fuck you” to the monsters? Gotta make sure those fans get their price of admission. The ones that didn’t die in the explosion or get eaten by the Noise, anyway.
Thankfully, Hibiki is still alive. She watches in awe as the red and blue badasses chop up some serious monster ass.
Kanade goes to save the little Hamster, but then…
(Did you think I was kidding way up there? Get used to this image.)
Kanade seems very struck by this. Surprising, considering how many other people already died in the last couple minutes that she just kinda scowled over. But, those people weren’t Main Characters like the cute little Hamster, so we’re not supposed to care.
Honey, girl got impaled through the chest. I don’t think whether or not she “gives up” is relevant medical attention here.
The Noise wait politely in the background while Kanade gives an emotional speech about the power of Heart and why she wants to give singing her all.
Kanade then releases her Final Song, to the dismay of Tsubasa. This is a mighty final attack which destroys the remaining monsters and saves Hibiki, at the cost of Kanade’s life.
Some time later, Hamster wakes in the hospital as doctors work to Rebuild Her, because We Have The Technology.
Then we cut to a cheerful school scene where she is all healed now and saves a kitty?? Whiplash.
And I suspect it is also your Tragic Flaw that will lead to 99% of the suffering you will no doubt endure as this show progresses.
Miku called Hibiki a baka while blushing? Welp, doesn’t get much clearer than that in anime.
IT’S LOVE.
We find out Hamster entered a music academy sometime after the attack, where Tsubasa is also a student, because Hibiki admires Tsubasa as a singer.
Wow, that… that is really going to muck things up, considering Tsubasa is 100% going to blame Hamster for the death of her lover. I predict there will probably be a whole character arc where Tsubasa must come to grips with the loss of her partner, realize that it wasn’t Hamster’s fault, that Kanade chose to die a heroic death, and that Tsubasa needs to accept her grief and move on, forgiving herself for letting her partner die in battle. (Come on, people, we’ve seen Simoun.) There is, like, a 70% chance that this resolution will involve talking to Kanade’s ghost/spirit in some way.
BUT NOW:
Okay wow. I was expecting this relationship to take time to develop, but it seems they are already a solid couple at the start of the series.
I… kinda like that. A lot of shows, anime or not, spend most of their run having a couple develop, then have the two of them officially get together at the end. Though it’s enjoyable to watch a ship develop like that, it cuts out the post-relationship dynamics, which can be fascinating, adorable, and a good source of drama. Seeing a couple get together is great. But, from time to time, it’s nice to see a couple work to stay together and maintain their relationship while the plot blows up around them. Seems that’s where Symphogear is heading with Hibiki and Miku.
(This is just going to further antagonize Tsubasa, by the way, that Hamster’s lover is still alive and Tsubasa’s is not. Just going to be more bitterness and resentment. I really really hope Tsubasa doesn’t turn evil at some point due to this. Or if she does, that the Power of Friendship can bring her back.)
(Also, I just remembered Hibiki is dead in the “two years later” opening scene. Fuck fuckity fuck.)
*Azmodan laughing in the background*
We cut to some distance away, where more Noise are attacking. This time there actually are soldiers fighting them, to no avail. Only mecha-magical girls can successfully combat these monsters. Why that is, and what exactly these girls’ powers are, will probably be explained in the coming episodes.
Tsubasa BAMFs her way onto the scene and refuses any backup.
Welp, the show wasted no time. Tsubasa has already descended into “I work alone” territory, which translates as: “I am terrified of getting hurt again, which is why I no longer get close to anyone, also I blame myself for my perceived failure and source of my pain.”
We’ve seen this archetype a million times. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad writing choice. Tropes exist for a reason. This character type yields a lot of good drama on the allies’ side, and can give badass fight scenes against the enemy.
Which is exactly what Tsubasa does here. She shreds that Noise, sings her cold broken heart out, and we even get a Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions shot.
Dayum.
Back at the school later, Hibiki tries to approach Tsubasa in the cafeteria and tell her how much Hibiki idolizes her.
Tsubasa says nothing, only indicates to Hamster that Hamster has food on her face. Hibiki flees in shame.
Well that was… civil. I guess I was completely wrong thinking Tsubasa would project (not sure if that’s the right term -- transfer, maybe?) her grief onto Hibiki and be enraged with her. Unless Tsubasa doesn’t recognize Hibiki as the girl from that day?
If it’s the latter, holy FUCK is that going to cause a storm later on when Tsubasa realizes the little hamster is the same girl Kanade died to protect. Or I could be completely wrong, as usual, and the show will just gloss over this potential connection.
Hibiki goes out on the town later. More Noise attack, killing people. (This begets the same question as earlier. If this society is constantly plagued by monster attacks which leave many people dead before mecha-magical girls can arrive to fight them off, why is this society so bright, happy, and peaceful most of the time? You’d think there would be a much heavier dread, and fortifications and alarm measures, or something. They don’t even seem to have an air raid siren type thing.)
Hamster tries to save a random little girl, because She Likes To Help People It’s A Hobby and also she is The Hero Type. There’s a mention of nearby shelters (okay, that slightly answers my above question, but not nearly enough), but the two girls are run down before they can make it.
Hamster flashes back to Kanade’s parting words of “Don’t give up on life!” Which, once again, is kind of inappropriate. I guess all those innocent people who got slaughtered by the monsters just gave up on life, how dare they, they just didn’t have the same heroic mettle…
Don’t get me wrong, I am hugely into the whole “don’t give up” theme (see: Madoka Magica). However. Using it in a situation like this doesn’t make sense to me. If you’re getting eaten by a monster or blown up in an explosion, whether or not you “give up” before you’re killed by means beyond your power to control is kind of moot. But, it seems like the type of thing Hamster will flash back to multiple times during the anime, so it will probably make more sense later. Like, in a fight where Hamster has to push herself to keep fighting.
Things aren’t looking good for Hibiki and the little girl. They get surrounded by Noise.
Well shit, son, I sure hope so. You’re the Hero. You don’t Give Up On Life. You have a girlfriend to go home and cuddle with. You have pussy-cats to save from trees. If you don’t do it, who will? Tsubasa sure gives zero fucks about the pussy anymore.
So, in the face of death, Hibiki does the only logical thing, of course.
She starts singing.
This activates Hibiki’s latent mecha-magical girl powers. Whether she always had them, whether she obtained them through Kanade’s death somehow, or whether she just Willed herself to have them isn’t made clear. But, that’s not what matters right now, because it’s time to Fuck That Noise.
We get a rather disturbing transformation sequence where black thorns twist around Hibiki’s veins, her teeth become fangs, and her outfit bursts out of her painfully while she screams.
Um… being a mecha-magical girl is a… good thing, right? Or, is it suffering?
Because, this sure looks different from the other transformation sequences we’ve seen so far. (What happened to my gnarly album covers, man?) Why is she in full-on Oni mode? Is this what happens to all new power-users, or is it a symptom of people who bring it on themselves rather than being trained by the scientists? Time will tell, I hope.
Fuck me.
------------------
So, that was Symphogear Season 1, Episode 1!
I’m incapable of actual critical analysis, so I’ll just give it a “Good job, keep going” thumbs-up.
Good start, sets up your main characters and some of the conflicts. Very confusing as to what the villains/monsters are and how they function, as well as the mecha-magical girls. That’s pretty standard, though. Most shows will just try to blow your pants off in the first episode and then infodump/worldbuild in the second episode, so I expect next episode to cover that.
Shit got hella grim hella fast, but it hasn’t verged into GrimDark, 2Edgy4U territory (yet), which is refreshing. Of course, we do end with a frenzied monster protagonist (she better not accidentally kill that little girl she was trying to save in her frenzy, for fuck’s sake!), so I’m not counting my chickens just yet.
Some plot developments were predictable even for a slowpoke like me, while others threw me for a loop and kept me guessing. There were some unanswered questions and jarring moments, but overall I had fun watching this episode and look forward to the next one.
It’s too early to tell if this will be good, but that’s less important than it being 1) awesome, 2) having ass-kicking ladies, and 3) having yuri. And so far, Symphogear has hit all three of those marks.
Also, we are only one episode in and I am already fucking sick of typing the word “Symphogear”.
------------------
